Blues….

Hello World....

Did you ever happen to see life in grey color lens... Wherever you set your eye sight...everything appears so grey & hostile...

I wonder where my inspiration & my daily day dreaming vanish...


Why the blue sky no more seems brighter...


Why the far away ocean frozen in the horizon no more call me for my daily escapades...


Why the things i use to like so much no more appeal to me...


Why this constant feeling of miserability shadows my every step....

How I wish there was a receipt for happiness ...

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Blues….

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Dilemma

Hello World....

I always think that life should have come with a manual or with a search engine ...



these days am in an impasse... taking a decision is never easy...

I don’t want to take a hasty decision … like I did in the past & live in regret

I’m right now stuck in the middle of my life journey… not knowing which way to choose...



cant deny am afraid...apprehensive...

life  is never easy...

the choice that I will take will reflect on my future... am still thinking on the pros & cons...trying to make out where I shall be in the future...



my big dilemma is whether to quit my job or not...

the job I had started to hate so much...which has become my own purgatory...


I hate the hypocrisy ....
the egoisms...
the unfairness...
the exploitation...
the coldness
& the inhumanity...



I no more want to
be tormented in my sleep with work...
where at every turn there is only reproaches..
where opening your mail inbox you are afraid there is going to be some very bad news...

today I no more have the strength to face all of these...
all my patience has faded away...

and I don't know what to do

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Dilemma

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The Call of the Ocean…

Hello World…

These days I am so tired and restless…till a state it’s so hard to find a good night of sleep and rest…

How I long for peaceful  reveries…

Somehow I found a point of anchorage in this bizarre routine of my life…between two dossiers at the office…
My office is located relatively near the harbor and my floor has a beautiful view of the harbor and the splendid sight of the ocean from the horizon…



So whenever I had to move along my department, my gaze will automatically linger to have a glimpse of the ocean and the harbor…

watching those ships anchoring or paving their way through the wide ocean…is like a animated painting with new portrays of ships being crafted with ever changing tones of the sea…illustrating the daily mood of the ocean…



I won’t ever forget the beautiful scene that the rain presented once …how the rain was falling with the dark grey menacing the sky and the ocean turning to a grey tone…with a lonely ship frozen in this picture….
I then wonder how it would be if I was on board on those lonely crafts …



following the call of the ocean….

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The Call of the Ocean…

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Nostalgia....

Hello World!

These days am so tired....during these moments of fatigue...my mind would then voyage towards a nostalgic dream destination…



Left to the wonder of how life would have been if I was living in the times of my grand parents...
where they said that life was much simpler than this....

when there was joy of living simply ...being a happy person...



where we respect nature...we eat what we grow ... know values....respect of others



where we were warm not so cold and devoid of emotions like the machines we so like



where people look at each other with warmth...

I end on this video 'Ki Fer Nou Content Nou Pays ?' (why we love our country)....a taste of the Mauritius I so love…

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Nostalgia....

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Aspiration

Hello World!
Today i was watching a documentary on TV on St Batherlemy or St. Barts (island found near the Caribbean....)



entitled La Belle et L'Avion (the beauty and the airplane)....




From the start to the end of the documentary, I just wish I was somewhere else…someone else… living something else

Life appears so idyllic and livable...


Despite living on an island (rather a concrete island I would say)I found myself yearning everyday of a new life......

a place where nature (fauna and flore) is still being respected and honored and graced...



not a place where every inch of soil is being toiled with concrete  and overpowered with greed for money and  outrun with consumerism ....



a place where one doesn't have to be ashamed of the color of one’s skin, ethnical background or social background



a place where we don't have to fear of walking in the street or stepping out without any attack, theft, violence or abuse...



a place where your silence is not your weakness...



a place where I can find happiness...

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Aspiration

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Breathe In and Breathe Out

Hello World!
Did you ever feel suffocated…
Everyday I’m striving out to breathe in and out….

Living out the same routine…waking up….eating…working….sleeping….

Am so tired mentally and physically (but am relieved that have got a job at last) that I dream almost every night of my work….the pending work awaiting for me….
 
Loner at heart….I know that am isolating from my dear ones…if you’re reading this post am sorry…I know am someone that can be so complicated….as my dearest friend Jade would say…am someone so unsociable….

Though I wake up every morning wishing when this day would end….I can’t wait to gaze at the rising sun every morning when am travelling by bus to work…

to watch the early sun rays lightening the sky and the landscape ….to feel the sun rays warming your skin….
 
The same mysterious sun rising down in the afternoon….the last rays lightening the dark blue color of the ocean….before darkness engulfed the night….

Neither picture nor word can describe the beauty of the sunset or sunrise…
I just wish then I was somewhere else … to at least to breathe in and out….

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Breathe In and Breathe Out

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Wanted: to rent or buy a new life

Hello World!
Am placing an ad for a new life…

Like most people am in quest of the idyllic and utopian goal of my life…

Always lost in my dreams and fantasies where I yearn to be somewhere else, someone else living something else…
 
I wish I was able to connect and plug into the real world…be happy…find my place..and live…
But am evading somewhere else where I dream that Mauritius still has some of its exotic fauna and flore and beauty like the Polynesian islands…

that make its pride …and not the concrete and cold buildings and shopping malls mushrooming everywhere…
Live somewhere where there won’t be any rush, stress, and the crescendo run or race of the money culture, hypocrisy and fear…
And be myself for once…

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Wanted: to rent or buy a new life

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KO

Hello World!

KO summarizes well my daily state of mind and life…



These days am so tired that my usual dreams and escapades have been put on pause mode…



Waking up every morning is the most difficult thing I do…leaving the warm and inviting bed rather than face the cold weather …



Each morning I wish the day will end soon so that I will be sleeping again and relax and find some rest and peace finally…

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KO

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Obsession

Hello World!
Finally my wish or obsession has turned true… I have finally made my comeback in the business world…
Yeah am finally back….
But like most ordinary human beings, am not totally happy…wonder why…



Am back at the harsh and cold reality of the business world which I craved to be….with my delusions shattering more…


 

Back to the past routines which I longed to faced again: waking up early…the rush hours of the breakfast time and dressing time….the morning sprint to the bus stop…to be finally in the end of the long queue waiting desperately for the rare Express buses to surface….to then wish to have a seating place (the past courtesy has longed died in Mauritius)….to be then stuck in the daily morning traffic jam…sprint to the office….wishing the clock will tick more quickly so the day will end soon…the afternoon congestion…



This is my daily routine for the past 3 weeks…am not complaining but wish I was more thrilled…



Tired of these delusions: the hope of getting a good job or brighter future….my thoughts and imagination are escaping or should I say drifting to another exquisite obsession of mine: cliffs



Yeah I love cliffs and am just totally fascinated by cliffs…
For me, they represent the most peaceful and energy refilling place…where you can sit there for hours and watch the rough sea and waves clashing and some vessels at some far most distance enveloped with their own special atmosphere: windy…cold…and so alone…




And because they are so like me: quite boring and unappealing places…just like the dull, introvert, loner person that I am finding it so difficult to connect to people….
Am picturing me living in Cornwall in a small house abandoned near a light house….



or in the highlands in Scotland or near its cliffs with its own mystical atmosphere



or lost in the exotic mystery and beauty of the New Caledonia Island…




I have always wanted to live near cliffs….trekking or sitting there observing the games of the angry waves against the defying rocks….

so that's my daily obsession…



I end today on a cheerful note ….on car commercial ads that I really love watching on TV…






Cheers

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Obsession

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